Novgorod Log #15: Fractured Fairy Tales +-----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Of the return to the valley of the oranges, and the ultimate recovery | | of a gem. Also, a fractured faerie tale in a far-away land, and the | | strange creatures brought back from that place. | +-----------------------------------------------------------------------+ Aethmunder of Bjornaer Magus (Don Perkovich) Auditor of Mercere Magus (Kevin Wong) Ballisto of Tytalus The Sorcerer of Rock (Bill Filios) Felix of Flambeau The Wizard of Flames (Dave Pickering) Gorm of Ex Misc The Chicken Magus (Matt Seidl) Nihil of Criamon The Mage of Destruction (Chad Weetman) Pacifer of Tytalus The Warrior Mage (Shannon Appel) Una of Tytalus The Storm Witch (Clayton Springer) Ingmar Ship Captain Adrean German Grog Big Claus Nordic Grog Jarl Nordic Grog (Kevin Wong) Lars Nordic Grog Little Claus Nordic Grog (Eric Rowe) Skald Nordic Grog Bjorn Guard Fluffy Cat Prince Olaf Lemming Chancelor Osbourne Lemming Halffird Youth Horse of Dust and Thunder Horse Iron Wolf Wolf Jomar Fairy Killing Beast Dog King Thorkle King Pogo Nightingale Princess Yrka Princess Rocks of Corson Rocks Sigmund the Foul Sorcerer Sorcerer Spot Cat Thorin Lemming King Trollwise Hedge Wizard Una's Puppy Puppy +------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | "Then I was hit by the flaming chicken" | | -Felix | +------------------------------------------------------------------------+ From the Runes of Little Claus 4 June, 1202 After that brutal battle with the bears of ice, I would have turned back. We were tired and hurt. Both Big Claus and Lars had been wounded near to death. I think that a group of precocious children could have defeated us in that awful hour. But, the magi were not willing to accept our limitations, and thus we pressed on. It was just an hour later when we spotted that campfire in the distance, miniature figures dancing joyfully about it. I was sure that another battle lay ahead, and that it would be the death of us. +------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | "Campfires weren't invented 'til the thirteenth century." | | -Kevin | +------------------------------------------------------------------------+ The Book of Nature's Teeth as Chronicled by Pacifer of Tytalus June 4, 1202 We were cautious when we approached the campfire, but soon, we learned that that caution was ill-needed. The creatures dancing about the fire were simply harmless leprechauns, clearly not a danger to any of us. At first, we tried to speak with the leprechauns, sure that we could glean some information from them. Unfortunately, they seemed more interested in their dancing and their drinking. Although they were willing to allow us to join in their festivities, they denied us any information about our two adverseries, despite the fact that they themselves were the enemies of both groups. We were starting to get irritated by this time, and then one of the leprechauns made a fatal mistake. He decided to be annoying. I was sitting near the edge of the clearing, watching some of our stupid grogs and Gorm joining the faeries in their celebrationwhen when one of the leprechauns approached me. Leaping back and forth, shaking his fists in my direction, he challenged me to a magical duel. I had no wish to waste my time brawling with the little man, so I pointed him to Felix. Then, I sat back, eager to see the results. As I had expected, Felix accepted the leprechaun's challenge. However, he refused to begin the combat until the faerie was positioned just so, straight in front of all of his fellows. When all was perfect, Felix quickly encanted "Creo Ignem", and a half dozen leprechauns went up in flames. For a moment, the foolish fay were shocked. Clearly, they had not expected such a brutal attack. Then, the survivors began to flee. Several more leprechauns were cut down before they could escape us entirely. And then, we were simply left to collect the vis. A most pleasant interlude, I must admit, although we were later forced to explain the attack to Nihil, who seemed quite befuddled over it. +-----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | "I'll remember that. Next time you're having tea with me is a great | | time to blow my ass away?" | | -Nihil, to Felix | +-----------------------------------------------------------------------+ From the Runes of Little Claus 4 June, 1202 I was not shocked by the unwarranted attack upon the Alfar, for by then, I expected it of the magi. However, I was disappointed, and I do remember saying a quick prayer to Odin, appealing to him for shelter from the Alfar's vengeance. For a time afterwards, the magi desecrated the corpses of the dead, removing body parts, and carefully weighing them. Thankfully, they were done quickly, and we were thus able to leave the scene of death and destruction. After that, the rest of the journey to the valley of the oranges was just a few hours more. Thankfully, they were uneventful. I don't recall seeing even a single bird during that time. Perhaps they saw the destruction strewn behind, and wisely give us a wide berth. When we finally came to the valley, however, we were met with a most unpleasant surprise. There were no orange trees in the valley, just tall, green pines. As far as we could tell, man had never set foot in this valley. We were all quite confused. For a time, we wandered the valley, looking for some clue. Soon though, it became clear that the only inhabitants of the place were a small pack of dogs. The magi killed them, of course, except for a puppy which Una managed to save. Finally, we gave up for the night, tired and frustrated. We hoped that the next morning would bring us new enlightenment. - * - The Book of Nature's Teeth as Chronicled by Pacifer of Tytalus June 5, 1202 When Adrean awoke me, many hours before dawn, I dearly wanted to kill something. Yesterday's frustrating search had put my nerves on edge, and being awoken in the middle of the night did little to relieve that tension. When I saw twenty armed men approaching us from the valley, I was sure that my chance was at hand. Unfortunately, as ever, Ballisto bid caution, and thus I was forced to impatiently wait while Felix went to talk with the warriors. A few moments later, Felix returned with valuable information. He said that the soldiers had recently come from the valley of the oranges, and that they had offered to take us back to it. As ever, Ballisto had been right. Clearly, the grove of oranges lay in some form of regio. Only by hiking through a certain grove of dark trees were we able to once more enter the hidden valley. With the soldiers leading us, the trip was a very simple one. In the valley, however, we were to meet with disappointment. Trollwise, afraid of our return, had fled. We would not have the pleasure of killing the man who had cost us so much time. Fortunately, though, Trollwise had showed some small degree of intelligence. Upon a table, he had left us his staff, and upon the top of that staff was the diamond which we had been searching for. - * - A Note from Trollwise to the Magi of Nature's Teeth Dear Magi, Sorry to depart so suddenly, but as you must know, discretion is the batter part of valor. Until we meet again, I bid you a good day. Your Servant, Trollwise PS: If you want the oranges, you had better pick them now. It is about to get very cold in this valley. - * - From the Runes of Little Claus 5 June, 1202 After the magi searched the building for a while, looking for bits of hair from their escaped foe, we were finally allowed to lie down, so that we could continue our earlier interupted sleep. I am sure that I must have just laid my head down when once more I was being shaken awaken. It was Lars, shouting of the great rains which had been coming down, causing the valley to flood. As quickly as we could, we fled, the magi using their magic to carve us a path up and out of the valley. As we fled, the magi tried their best to lure the storm faerie from hiding. But, it did no good. Finally, we headed back to Pomarium, ready to board our ship, and then return home. - * - The Book of Nature's Teeth as Chronicled by Pacifer of Tytalus June 5, 1202 Since arriving back upon the boat, I have carefully examined the gem left behind by Trollwise. Somehow, it seems oddly wrong. I do not think that it is truly one of our gems. But, it looks so close, so very close. I can not decide if our trip was in vain or not. - * - From the Runes of Little Claus 7 June, 1202 This morning, as we travelled south across the Baltic, I felt the oddest sensation. It was like a shock, which I felt to my very soul. Somehow, everything has seemed different since then. It is a very subtle change, but still one that I am sure that I have not imagined. - * - The Book of Nature's Teeth as Chronicled by Pacifer of Tytalus June 9, 1202 Looking back over my notes, it is now clear when the problems began. On the seventh of June, we all felt an odd sensation. A tingling, perhaps or a shock. We tried to investigate it for a time before finally giving up. It did not seem important at the time. And then, the next day, the eighth of June, strange things began to occur. It was that day that we saw the cat, desperately swimming, fleeing from the mob of fish. Now, it is all clear. Somehow, on the seventh, we were transported to another place. It was that tingling shock which marked our entrance to that strange faerie realm that we have spent the last two months exploring. - * - From the Chartreuse Fairy Book "The Land Where Fish do not Speak" Once upon a time, in the far away land where fish do not speak, there dwelled a group of six heroes, the mightiest magicians and warriors of their realm. The heroes travelled the frozen lands of the North, and they did deeds which legends are written of. The tales of how they defeated the frozen worm of ice, how they discovered the magical vale of warmth and how they rescued the sacred heart of amber have all been told many times. I bid you now, gather closely around, for I will tell the story of the greatest quest of the heroes from the land where fish do not speak. It is the story of how they first came to our realm, and the great good that they did here. The six came to this land upon a boat, and their trip was a long one, for the land where fish do not speak is a very distant place. The first to meet the heroes was the brave cat named Fluffy, who had just been betrayed by the creatures of the sea, when they invited him to dinner, and then attempted to eat his liver, so that they could walk upon the land. The clever Fluffy had outwitted the fish, when he explained that his liver was out to dry, and then, with the help of a jellyfish, escaped from them. The fish were not so ready to let their prey go free, and so they had chased him, far across the Baltic. As fate would have it, Fluffy soon came upon the magical boat of the great heroes, and when they saw the bedraggled cat, chased by huge fish, they quickly rescued him, and thus gained Fluffy's undying gratitude. Fluffy told the heroes many things, and they seemed quite astounded, for in their land, neither the cats, nor the dogs, nor even the fish spoke a word, and so Fluffy entranced the heroes, long spinning for them tales of the good king Thorkle and his lands, and the heroes were so impressed that they declared they would visit the lands, and learn of the mysteries hidden there. The heroes sailed East, taking Fluffy back to his home in the pleasant city of Karuna. There, they spoke with the cats and the children of the town. They joined in the games and fun of the village, and they enjoyed Karuna's calm and quiet, but then, in a tavern in Karuna, the heroes heard the most dreaful news. They learned of the sad fate of Princess Yrka, who had been thrown from her horse and lay close to death, and at once, the heroes pledged to help beloved Yrka, and so they headed North, their companion, Fluffy, in the lead. As they travelled North, the heroes came upon a creature in the most dreaful danger. A circle of fire burned upon the plains, and there, in the center was a lemming, who screamed for help. The riddling mage of destruction stepped forward, and with but one gesture doused the flames, and with a shout of glee, the lemming leaped forward, and he revealed himself as Olaf, Prince of the Lemmings. He thanked the riddling mage greatly, and insisted that he accompany him home, so the great lemming Thorin, king under the hill, could reward him. With good grace, the riddler accepted, and so he left his friends for a short time. Under the hill, the mage of destruction was offered great rewards, but Olaf, still grateful to his friend, had prepared him for this meeting, and so the mage knew precisely what to ask for. He accepted a handful of gems, but that was not the true reward that he asked for. Instead, the mage demanded the speech of the beasts, and so pleased was Thorin with the kindness of the hero, that he granted it happily. Afterwards, here was one last tearful goodbye, as the riddling mage of destruction bid his new friends farewell, and then he was off, striving to return to his companions. Meanwhile, the other heroes had come upon a nightingale along the road, and the nightingale too was faced with dire trouble. A fleck of gold paint was stuck to his tongue, and the gift of speech had thus been entirely robbed from him. The five heroes looked at the poor bird, trying to determine how to best help their feathered friend, and it was then that the riddling mage of destruction returned. He spoke another word of magic, and the fleck of paint was gone. Happily, the nightingale whistled his joy, and serendaded the heroes as they continued their journey north. "We should travel these lands, doing good," the wizard of flames said. His fellows laughed politely, and they all moved on. Before the heroes arrived at Thorkle's castle, they were faced by a third and final difficulty. As they travelled, they noted an area of land where not a single ray of sun light fell, and they briefly detoured, determined to fathom this latest mystery. Within the darkness, they discovered a village, and there they learned that the village's light had been taken by Sigmund, the foul sorcerer. He had demanded a tribute of many sheep, and the villagers had been unable to paid, and so, he had taken their light for them. Walking quickly, the heroes came to the stone hut of Sigmund, and there they talked kindly with him. Soon, a deal was struck, and the riddler traded one of Thorin's gem for the village's light. The villagers rejoiced greatly, while the heroes quietly moved on. They demanded no reward for the good they had done. Finally, the heroes arrived at Thorkle's castle, after two full days of travel, and there they learned that things were even worse that they had heard. Beatiful Princess Yrka lay in the deepest sleep, and neither the greatest magicians nor the most intelligent doctors had been able to revive her, and despite the fact that they were blessed by the gods, the heroes from the land where the fish do not talk were no more successful. But then, once more, the kindness of the heroes was rewarded, for as they wept over the body of Yrka, Pogo the nightingale came to them and offered his aid. He told them of an owl, so ancient that even his name was not remembered, who might know the secrets necessary to cure poor Yrka. For four days, the heroes travelled west before they finally came to the tree of the ancient owl. Just as Pogo had promised, the owl was wise and knowledgeable, and when the heroes approached him, and explained their quest, he was happy to prove the help that he could. He told of two magic springs, far to the North, and explained of their great healing powers, but he also cautioned the heroes, telling of the huge, grinding Rocks of Corson which crushed all who tried to partake of the magical water. The heroes were undaunted, and so they travelled North, and they journeyed for nearly four weeks, and when they finally came upon the Rocks of Corson, they were duly impressed by the sight. The rocks were huge, and it seemed that anyone who tried to recover the water from the springs was doomed. However, the mage of chickens was undaunted, and so he declared his willingness to brave the danger. He waited until the rocks were taking their noontime rest, and then quietly dropped into the valley that they formed, gliding in upon a deft enchantment. Quickly, the chicken mage gathered the water, and then lifted himself away from the rocks. His quest had been a successful one. The other heroes were greatly impressed by the bravery of the mage of chickens, and so they applauded him when he was once more safe. At once, he was named a member of their fellowship, for he had never truly been one before. The six then turned south, a long journey still ahead of them. Back at the castle of King Thorkle, the mighty wizards from the land where fish do not speak were happily welcomed, but the heroes ignored the accolades, and instead turned at once to the beautiful Yrka. The water worked just as the owl had said it would, and miraculously, Yrka was restored. A cheer went up in the castle, and the people of the kingdom rejoiced for many days. Again, the heroes from that other land refused reward. They quietly slipped away from Thorkle's castle, heading off to continue their never ending battle. For a brief time more, the six heroes remained in our lands. They searched for magical gems, spoke with the iron wolf and talked of the horse of dust and thunder, but in truth their hero's epic was done. Some days later, they finally left our lands, though they did not go alone, for their great deeds had won them many friends. Their companion, Fluffy, who had travelled with them for many weeks, went to the land where the fish do not talk with the great heroes, as did many of his feline companions. Also, the heroes took with them the boy Halffird, a youth of Karuna. Surely, he is was trained to become a hero. And finally, the heroes left Karuna, sailing into the sunset from which they had emerged, and never have they since been seen in these realms, but still tales are told of the heroes that came from the land where the fish do not talk, and still stories are told of their inevitable return. +-----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | "Gotta be nice for a couple of days every once a while, and then you | | can be a ruthless bastard the rest of the time." | | -Felix | +-----------------------------------------------------------------------+ From the Runes of Little Claus 9 June, 1202 Those months in that fairy realm were almost euphoric. Never before have I seen the magi so good-natured, so kind, so all around pleasant. But, unfortunately, all things must come to an end. Our quests done, we returned to our boat, and sailed until we once more reached the reality of Europe. There we learned that in our months of questing, just a single day had gone by. It was almost as if it had been but a dream. But, there are still items that mark the reality of that strange faerie place. Talking cats stroll about our boat, and Nihil still converses with even the mundane animals, and then there is the boy Halffird, who Felix brought back with him. I am sorry to leave beautiful Karuna and the surrounding lands of King Thorkle behind, but even I must admit, that though our visit was a relaxing one, one can stand remain in a land of fantasy forever. +-----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | "Just don't use the water to heal a chicken or something!" | | -Nihil, to Gorm | | | | "Well, I don't like you anymore!" | | -Gorm, to Nihil | | | | "I'll have secret conversations with chickens about your sexual | | potency." | | -Nihil, to Gorm | +-----------------------------------------------------------------------+ The Book of Nature's Teeth as Chronicled by Pacifer of Tytalus June 15, 1202 Today, we finally returned home, many months after our departure. It is true that upon the calendar of Europe just a few weeks have passed, but in reality, it has been much too long since I have seen home. Unfortunately, we were not to enjoy a pleasant greeting upon our return. Rather, as Ingmar docked our boat, we heard a great howling, and a huge dog began to slowly climb down towards our boat. Nihil notified us that the beast howled for Jomar, and that confused us greatly, for we knew of no such person upon or boat. So, we began to search the boat, and soon discovered that a stoway was indeed aboard. Our stowaway was a most odd, legless faerie. Not surprisingly, it was known by the name of Jomar. Jomar quickly blurted out his story, saying that the beast had been sent by his master to kill him, and that was all that Felix needed to hear. With one burst of flames, the dog was struck dead. I do not know what interest the Master of the Killing Beasts had in the ugly fairy, and I suppose now, I never will. Afterwards, Jomar began to talk quite freely, saying how humorous we were, and much he had enjoyed spying upon. When Jomar revealed that he had been with us for months, once more, Felix became angered. Again, flames lanced from his fingers, and shortly Jomar was a smoking pile of ashes. I would have done the same, for I neither like being spied upon nor manipulated, and like Felix, I was then sure that it had been Jomar who had brought us to that strange realm of talking fish. When we finally returned to the covenant, we learned that the dog had been waiting for many days. Once, Aethmunder had tried to drive him away. That act had cost him his right hand. So, now we mourn with Aethmunder over his loss, but at least we may be consoled with the fact that he has already been avenged. While we now mourn Aethmunder's loss, we will soon be rejoicing over a new gain. Gorm has already left the covenant, to go and sit upon the barren rocks of the island for a week. When he returns, he shall be welcomed into our covenant, as a member of Ex Miscellanea. Our entire trip has brought us somewhat mixed results, good and bad blended together like the colors in Felix's gem. I hope that our friends in Poland are doing at least as well.